No Picture Today.

I suppose that this is just my Soap Box. Be that as it may, I suppose that this may or may not be the appropriate venue for bitching, but at this point, I just don't care. If you're turned off, then tune out (as an old teacher used to say.)

The one thing I can't stand is when someone makes "excuses." That drives me friggin' bananas. So, I'm gonna try not to make any excuses. That aside, I want to preface with, the hardest times I have ever had to encounter have not been in the Marines. It has not been the day I was kicked out of my house when I was a 18, It's not when I was a struggling through my first FAILED marriage. No, the hardest times I have encountered have been since we have gone on Recruiting Duty till now. Stick with me on this, Since the age of 14, I have had AT LEAST one or MORE jobs at any one time. Even while in the Marines. In Okinawa, I was a bus driver and tour bus driver. In California, I had a job as a Hazardous Waste Reclimator while in the Marines. After I got out, I became an Assistant Chemist for Hazco and had a second job STILL with San Diego County working at the HHW site near Mirimar. ALWAYS had some form of gainful employment.

Then came Recruiting Duty and Nebraska. Not so bad. Heather and I agreed to give her a couple of months to transition to recruiting duty. I was ASKED, by the way. Well, this goes on for a few more months and I take the job at Kush's for bout a year and a half or so. Then, after that, I didn't work for 5 months. Rough. I hated it. Regardless of what anyone else thinks. I was not crazy about it. So, after finding out our extension to Rec. Duty was coming, regardless, I took a job at Wal-Mart. Not glamorous. But, it was employment. Well, this started clashing greatly with Heather's ever-expanding scheduling that the Marines were asking of her. So, I more or less had to quit. So, I did. Then, as most of you don't know, I was ASKED to NOT work, BY HEATHER. Since it alleviated a lot of stress off her and the demands that the Marines were making of her and I and the kids as a family. Long story. You'll just have to trust us on this. So, I was told that she preferred me not working. So, after much debate (laugh if you want) we agreed that we were doing very well financialy, having no bills to speak of and what not, and that we could afford it and actually SAVE money not working. Believe me, I wanted HazMat jobs in NE. However, NE didn't need anyone with HazMat credentials. Not all states are as picky as CA. So, I did that. Then came the move to NC. Again, we waited a couple of months before I would start looking for work so we could figure out a normalcy in her/our schedules with her being an instructor. This got established and then she went to Staff Academy. So, we thought that we would just wait till that was done. Meantime, we have been doing just fine. Now in this time since we've been here, I've still been applying all over base and areas around here. I've been afforded the time to be "picky," if you will. So, I haven't been too picky, just been applying here and there. Well, after awhile I kept applying more and more, and more and more.

Finally, I tallyed it up. I had applied for 31 different jobs in a 3 week period. It was getting exhausting. Was I desperate for work? No, I just knew that Staff Academy was going to be over in a few months and thought I would just start jumping the gun. A few look backs and few close offers and all that, but still. No Dice. This is getting frustrating. So Heather talks to a couple of guys at Academy and they say that a lot of their spouses had to wait almost a YEAR before they were accepted for any of these jobs. A YEAR. A year. A year. A year. Give me a break. That's not doing much for my optimism.

Okay. So, I am constantly being told by Heather, that I don't have to work. That most military spouses don't work and that it's okay and all that other junk. Fine. I don't have to work. That's not the problem. I would like to work. But, I would like it to at the very least, pay off!! Here's our other dilema. Day Care and after school programs will tally roughly 1000 a month. Straight cost. That doesn't include Diapers, wipes, etc. Okay, then there's the overlying fact that, let's be honest, it costs less to live out here as far as cost of living. SO, wages aren't gonna be what they were in CA. Fine. No problem. It seems that even the entry level jobs are paying just over 8 dollars an hour. Do the math. Wanna hear something depressing? In 1989 I worked for Wasco County in Oregon working for the forestry department clearing Tansy Ragwart and Skeleton Weed from the Clear Cuts of Oregons forests. What's that mean? Doesn't matter. I made 8 bucks an hour at that job. Entry level. Summer job.

Now I have all the credentials and certifications and all that other CRAP and I'm still LEGAL to do this HazMat, Safety/Environmental work. Infact, it seems that even being California qualified, I sort of superceed any other states need for credentials by mine, alone. Anyway, you think any of that matters? Nope. This is the "good ol' boy network" out here. I don't have time to explain what all of that means but, again, I just got ANOTHER letter from MCCS Camp Lejeune saying that even though I was considered for the job of Safety/Environmental Officer for MCCS Camp Lejeune, they have decided to look at other outside agencies and they are sorry and all that other stuff and you know the rest, keep me on file and all that. So, here I am. I went to College before I joined the Marines. I am actually a pretty well educated man. I'm not incompetant. I don't spell the best sometimes, but that's what spell checker is for, right? If you use it. I rarely do. I studied hard in the Marines, I took courses through FEMA (yeah, that FEMA) for 2 years. Dealing in all areas from Hazardous Waste to Radiological Management to Disaster Relief, to affects on society in cases of Hazardous Waste and the Environmental impacts on communities when such control, and all that crap, I'm rambling, I gotta stop. What I'm trying to say is that, I'm not stupid. I actually went to school for this. Not only that, but I took it a step further while in the Marines and out of the Marines. Nebraska was a challenge trying to switch gears but lets face it. I really didn't. As most of my family know, I grew up in this business. I have been associated with the retail end of business and manufacturing and all that crap since I was 6 through my Dad. So, I just cheated and went to something that I tried to get away from years ago. It's just depressing.

Don't get me wrong. I love spending time with Mason. We have a great time. I love it. Plus, it is a relief not having to worry about day care and where the kids will go after school and before school and the community centers and all that other B.S. But, shit, man... if you asked me 5 years ago, where I see myself in 5 yrs, I would have told you that I would be consulting with other govt. contractors or other HazMat related companies. It just seemed like the natural progressive step. Infact, here's something that I think only Heather and a few select others knew. After Hazco, a lady I used to work with (Shannon) were going to try to start doing Consulting on our own for other Govt Contracts and other contracts associated with Safety Kleen and what used to be ENSCO. Well, as that was starting to take some "semi-shape" the Recruiting Screening team was rearing it's ugly head our way, and that's when we decided that we should shift gears and she should Volunteer instead of being selected so she had a chance to choose where to go. Believe it or not, we got to choose where we went. The list to choose from was Midwest only, though. Coulda been worse. If I remeber right, Indianapolis was where she was destined for.

I don't know.... I'ts just frustrating. This is my blog and I get to choose the topics, I guess. Well, looks like today's is about me bitching. If you're still reading at this point, thanks for hearing me out.

Before you go any further, know this. I don't blame Heather for a Damn bit of this. She's in the Marines. I was in the Marines. I know what she signed up for and I know what I signed up for. I've put that uniform on many times. I've been to over 9 countries before I met Heather. I get it. You don't have much of a say. I of all people understand that. Plus, I of all people when we were both in, told her NOT to get out. I was broken and didn't have much of a choice. She was debating getting out. It didn't make sense to me.

A lot of you know this already but a lot of my family doesn't, so I'm saying it for their benifit, that Heather knew what she wanted to be or do since the 7th GRADE. Can you believe that? You know what else? She's doing it. She wanted to be a Marines since the 7th Grade. I wanted to be an Astronaut! Didn't turn out so well for me. What did you want to be in the 7th grade? Bet you're not it, now!! How many people do you know, hell (this is the feminist mother that i had growing up coming out in me here,) how many WOMEN knew what you wanted to be and told yourself that you could do it at the 7th grade and DID IT? Not many, I suspect. I actually admire Heather. I tell her that she's living her dream. She is, she knows that, too. Who am I to EVER tell her to stop doing what she has wanted to do most of her life, at this point. I'll tell you, I'm not that kind of man. I was raised better than that. I will gladly step aside to watch the person I love live her dream. Every day she wakes up, she enjoys putting on her uniform. She is a rare breed in today's Marines. I admire that. Shit, I'm even jealous of that. I suspect most of you are jealous of that! Who wouldn't be? If your dream was to be a ballerina, and you grew up to be one, you'd be pretty god damn proud of yourself.

So, I'm not blaming Heather. I'm not even blaming the Marines. I suppose I'm blaming my Ms. Anderson, my 8th grade science teacher for making me passionate about science and chemisty for placing my interests in these subjects. Hell at that matter, I blame Mr. Fisher, my Senior Year English Teacher with allowing my the gift of unlocking my ability to write and speak effectively. I'm sure you're cursing him out, now as well. I don't blame you.

Well, I'm probably done.