Think about it. What is the biggest Scam in the world? Bottled water. It's absurd the price of BOTTLED water. It's like 1 buck for a bottle of Dasani water. Then there's the whackos who actually think there's a water that TASTES better than other bottled water. Dude... It's water. That's it. WATER. I think we just buy certain types of water just because it's there and, "why not, I'm thirsty" comes to mind when you're at the 7-11 and whammo, you just did what retailers call the "impulse buy."
Well, here's my idea. Actually, it's not MY idea, it's my idea and a guy that i work with. We thought about making our own bottled water. This is actually legit. We're gonna call it BRIAN water. "Water like you drank when you were a kid." The original idea was to take hose water and put it in bottles and sell it. Instead, due to bacteria and what not in water, we decided that we would add just the "hint" of hose taste to the water. Nothing major, just the ever so subtle hint. Some slogans... "BRIAN makes water manly again." or "BRIAN water, it is what it is." or "BRIAN's hose water, straight from the backyard to your fridge. Nothing fancy, water for the working man."
Think about it. You could be a millionaire in about 10 minutes. People would buy it just to SEE if it really did taste like hose water. And let's all face it, before you all start making faces. You drank the SHIT out of hose water when you grew up, and most of us still do it on a hot ass day, and you're too damn lazy to go inside for water. You just pony up to the spigat and slurp it down. We've gotten too fancy here in America. Time to get back to basics. Sell it at Wal Mart or ANY damn store for that matter. Sell it for 1/2 the price of regular bottled water. The label.... this is the best part. Ever been to FORD and taken your vehicle in to get fixed? See that mechanic and the shirt he wears with his NAME PATCH over the left pocket on his shirt?? That's the label on our water. It just says "BRIAN" on it. Make the bottle Green with a brass colored cap.
People are morons (Specifically Americans) and we buy shit just to buy it.
Ever drank water from a creek?? It tastes like shit usually, but we line up at the stores for spring water. Hose water is the same as the water coming out of your tap.
It's a damn good idea. I wish i had the ambition to actually do this.
The possibilities are endless. The commercial... Show some dude filling up empty bottles with hose water, setting them down on the lawn and some other brain dead hick screwing lids on em.
Proudly Made In America. Support The Troops. Drink from the hose. Save money. Little monikers you can put on the back of the bottle.
And yes, we really do have nothing better to do with our time than come up with brilliant ideas like this.
If i see Brain water in the stores in the next year I'm suing someone.
MB
3 comments:
Add a little dirt to the water (just a little, like what's usually on the end of the hose) then call it mineral water. you might get the granola junkies to buy it that way!
I'll go out on trash day and get bottles. I have the time, the dirt and a couple of hose bibs. What a way to supplement my pension!! We can start a college fund for the grand kids. I'll sleep on it tonight and maybe start in a couple of days.
yum
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